Feeling Warm

Frigid life, cold and dark, naked stark –a gloomy glacier
Flowing alone, a stranger to the warmth love can provide
Confident outside, Terrified inside
Strong outside, fragile inside
Open outside and closed inside,
scared to open my heart,
Bruised all over by the world so cruel
Then there you were.
Wary, not knowing what was to come,
Shedding my reserve, I gave you the little that I had left.
Hoping to love again
Surprised that you want me this way.
You guided my scared soul
With relief my heart took over
A new feeling so real, so true
Yet so scared, I felt so new
I was hesitant to let anyone see the real me
But, you saw the vulnerability right through
Your love feels so perfect , so right
I let go all my fear, anger, and regret
With them the pain and distrust gone
Am glad to be once again just me
Sharing emotions stifled since long
Freed by your love, bound by your love
Nothing now can go wrong !

Aspirations

I wish one day to leave a mark

The day - when I am done....
I will leave it at a place

where others may behold….
I hope it spreads a message

which others may fathom

May some soul gain from it

Where I will last forever….
My spirit will never die

My feelings which connects me to pain
Not only of mine, but others too,

People wonder my tears are not yet dry

and empathy makes me cry.
Feelings have many depths,
In which I drown only to resurface

At the bottom remains the ballast

of all the bitterness

And I come up with an open mind…
Someone from the Arcadia of Peace

once pulled me from the depths
To celebrate the essence of life

I will walk through the avenues of life

My fears left far behind

I will swim through the waves of ideas

To come up with something bright
I'll stand in among the column of challenges

Adding to my strength
I’ll float through success stories

One day I will write my own…

Fears galore

To watch you getting smaller with the distance . . .

Is to know unbearable pain, it's jagged sharp edges tearing into my soul.

As a stake from the garden tears into the warm, dark earth.
Fearing all the while that never may I again

fit myself, warm with sleep, against your solid hairy chest.
Nor hear your steady breathing. Or feel the beating of your heart.
aware in every moment of every day that my dreams, my future;

that I with silken ribbons to yours, may never come to be true.
And the mornings ever so silent and hopeful,

of us longing for each other and so gently awaiting forever –

may become fragments of my broken dreams
your soft eyes betraying the storm within you.

I am crying for both of us, because you will not.
You know but won’t accept how painful it is to know

that I fear losing my place on your heart's earth...... My station....... My heart's home.

That I fear that I may wander, forever a nomad…….Alone and afraid.

And in my troubled dreams watch you leave, again and again.
For the rest of my days.

I forget the woman in me & get lost in you

So lost that you think of me as immature
It hurts - you not understanding that am not !
Not a child but a woman
secure in a man’s shadow

Your love perks up the child in me
How I try to take possession
and claim your attention
Sometimes you get upset
and are not concerned
Then again at times
you see I am hurting
and sweetly cajole me
Your love for the child woman
makes you rebel
You hate to admit
You give reasons against
It's you who is immature

Not ready to accept
That the man in you has surrendered
To the woman in me
You pretend to get in your angry mode
and plead to be left alone
Which I don’t allow you

But if I ever let you go
be sure of this –

You may walk lone a little distance

But surely will come back right back to me
It's just the Man in you !