Fears galore

To watch you getting smaller with the distance . . .

Is to know unbearable pain, it's jagged sharp edges tearing into my soul.

As a stake from the garden tears into the warm, dark earth.
Fearing all the while that never may I again

fit myself, warm with sleep, against your solid hairy chest.
Nor hear your steady breathing. Or feel the beating of your heart.
aware in every moment of every day that my dreams, my future;

that I with silken ribbons to yours, may never come to be true.
And the mornings ever so silent and hopeful,

of us longing for each other and so gently awaiting forever –

may become fragments of my broken dreams
your soft eyes betraying the storm within you.

I am crying for both of us, because you will not.
You know but won’t accept how painful it is to know

that I fear losing my place on your heart's earth...... My station....... My heart's home.

That I fear that I may wander, forever a nomad…….Alone and afraid.

And in my troubled dreams watch you leave, again and again.
For the rest of my days.